


i miss my lover, man

by midkei



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Autism Spectrum, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Misunderstandings, Nigel tries his best, Possessive Nigel (Charlie Countryman)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27211924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midkei/pseuds/midkei
Summary: adam is coping okay, with his fathers passing. at least he thinks he is, until men barge in his apartment late at night, looking for something he doesn't have. this is the least of adam's worries, as his father may have left some things out before he passed away.-------spacedogs soulmate au. nigel tries to collect debt adam doesn't have.
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki
Comments: 15
Kudos: 103





	1. complete cooperation

Adam didn’t like when he heard noises from outside, or in his house. He was a quiet person - the only noises that came from his apartment were from watching a tv show on his laptop when he ate. A normal routine, normal noises, at the usual times. That’s what Adam was used to.

The man stirred, too busy observing galaxies and star patterns on his computer. This is what he did before bed, almost every night. He glanced at the clock, sitting on his bedside table, reading about 11PM and then some. It was too late for the reasonable time for anyone to be coming over - that’s what he had learned. But the knocking, more like slamming, on his door said otherwise. It had been going on for more than a few seconds, and Adam began to hear shuffling under his door.

With a glance to his laptop screen, Adam sighed and pushed himself away from the table, shoes creaking on his floor. While it was an inconvenience, he remembers being told to not keep people waiting, basic human courtesy, so he didn’t.

Someone’s shadow was at the bottom of the door, and Adam couldn’t see more than one. Good to know it wasn’t more than one person, the nervous shakes in his hands would’ve started already. He brushed his curly brown hair back from his face quickly, and swung the door open. 

“Yes?” His softer, but still tone voice called out.

A man that he’d never seen or met before greeted his eyes. Adam took a moment to look at him, taking in a new face - as much as he wasn’t too good with faces. The man had hard features, a hard jawline and mature nose, eyebrows. He had a kind of golden-brown hair, slicked back but some pieces fell to his forehead regardless. 

Adam didn’t look at his eyes. He never did, eyebrows was the closest he got, but this man’s were furrowed.

“Mr. Raki? This is the correct apartment, is it not?” The man asked. He has a noticeable accent, kind of heavy. His hand rested on the doorframe as soon as the space was open, gripping the wood.

Adam paused, picking at the skin around his fingers, with his arm resting near his abdomen. As far as he knew, he had no business with this man. Why would he be looking for him?

“Yes - I live here.” That’s all he offered, mouth in a line, waiting for some kind of response for the man that disturbed him. 

He pushed one of his eyebrows up, scanning Adam’s face for a few moments. It remained silent. This wasn’t exactly the type of person Nigel was expecting, but you get a job, you get paid for it, you do it. Mr. Raki was a little shorter than him, by a few inches. Brown hair that was pulled into a side part, but still a little curly. Casual formal wear, which was a little bit strange for a man in his home at almost midnight, but it wasn’t Nigel's job to care.

“You see, Mr. Raki, we have a little bit of a fucking problem. Mind if I come in - we can talk about it?” His voice came, rougher than it was just a moment ago, slightly louder. 

Adam looked to the side, still fiddling with his hands. His eyes went anywhere but the man's face.

“Problem? I- There..shouldn’t be any kind of problem. Nothing happened.” He argued, and to his knowledge he was right. Things were okay at his job. The project with SPLICE was going well - even if his boss didn’t think so. It was. Maybe it was about his dad, but Harlan said he would take Adam with when they needed to sort things out. This didn’t make any sense. 

A smirk grew on Nigel’s face. He fought the urge away to laugh. They always tried this, denying. ‘No, I don’t know what you’re talking about’. It never worked. You got a problem, man up to it - take care of it yourself. That was his logic. 

Seeing the boy’s moment of confusion and or denial, whichever it was, Nigel stepped his foot in the apartment, observing the inside. It looked clean, organised. A bit..empty, for this one person. Too much dead space. 

People with debt problems never usually have big apartments with empty space. 

Adam knitted his brows, mouth parting but little words coming out. His feet shuffled backwards, the man stepped in the doorway but at least he didn’t come in. Adam hadn’t even invited him in yet, which he probably should’ve. Maybe he can get this sorted and get back to his routine. 

“Uhm, do you want to come in?” He offered, stepping to the side. Adam straightened out the creases in his shirt, holding the wall next to the living area with his other hand.

Nigel dipped his head, smirk still evident. 

“Now we’re getting somewhere, Mr. Raki.” He stepped into the apartment, going further than Adam, leaving him to shut the door behind him. His eyes scanned the place. Quite a few rooms, large sofa, not a thing out of place. This place, for one person with debt, oozed ‘suspicious’. 

"You can call me Adam. What's your name?" A bit of normality, he thought, catching up to the man halfway in his living space. Constantly being called 'Mr. Raki' was a little too formal for his tastes - and he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious of who the man was.

Nigel’s face quirked towards Adam’s, an expression he couldn’t read, something like a wry smile.

“Adam...I’m Nigel. Let’s get to the problem at hand here.” 

His eyebrow pointed up, wondering why the hell the kid asked for his name. It reminded him of how friend introductions as children went. Who knows - he could be trying to gauge if he’d heard of him before or not. None of his business - except for solving the issue he came here to. 

Adam watched as Nigel stepped around his apartment, dragging his finger along his couch or wall. Touching things, body turned away from him but his eyes always seemed locked - with a head turn. Adam couldn’t do anything but stand there.

“Here’s the issue we’re having, darling. You...have debt to repay. You’ve had time. But you didn’t pay it. So now I’ve been sent to take care of it for you.” Nigel stepped closer to him, finger trailing his furniture before falling back to his hip. 

Adam didn’t exactly understand. That wasn’t even his name - he didn’t like to be called _darling_ or whatever the man had decided on. Nothing he said made sense - Adam felt a knot in his stomach tie tighter. 

“T...That’s not my name, my name is Adam.” He insisted, fiddling with his hands resuming, faster this time. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

That’s all he offered. That’s all he _knew_ how to say.

Nigel stopped in his tracks, hand picking at his black jacket next to his jean pocket. A brief chuckle escaped his mouth, scanning Adam’s face. He was playing the clueless route - maybe.

“Tell me, do you live here by yourself? Kind of a big fucking apartment to have for one guy, isn’t it?”

He nodded, almost jerkily, swallowing before responding to the man. 

“I’m alone. It’s not my apartment - it’s my dads.” He reminded Nigel, though he couldn’t blame him for thinking it was his. He remembered Harlan saying they would sort the ‘mortgage’ out and other things he didn’t understand. Things he never bothered to concern himself with - his dad did that for him.

That piqued Nigel’s curiosity. Still with that grin, he titled his head, as if asking for more information. “Your dad?” He knew he looked too young. Not the type, that was one of his first thoughts. But that didn’t mean he would get away from this scott free. Rich daddy’s boy - or more like broke.

“Where the hell is he? Reckon I can have a chat with him?”

Adam brought both hands up to his chest, cupping them and playing with his fingers. He looked up to Nigel for a moment. He wished he would stop swearing. 

“At Queen’s - where the dead people go. Little while ago.” 

It wasn’t really a joke, nor sarcasm, but it was something. Adam’s something - what he usually gave for an answer to that question. He could joke sometimes, if he felt like it. The corners of his mouth twitched a little, but he remained where he was - waiting for a response from Nigel. 

The man scoffed, with an open smirk he always returned to. “Dead? Your daddy’s fucking dead?” 

He threw his hands up in exacerbation, sounds of fabric rubbing against itself when they fell back on his side. Nigel knew - it was the kid’s dad who had the debt. If he was wrong, it didn’t matter, the debt didn’t go away because someone was dead. It had to get paid off _somehow_.

That’s what they told him, anyway. 

Adam shifted, he wasn’t sure what to say. Nothing Nigel said or did left him with anything to answer. But he didn’t have to - Nigel approaching him with quick steps out of nowhere. Adam froze, the man’s face too close for comfort to his. 

“Listen, that debt still needs fucking paying. I don’t know what he didn’t tell you, or did, but he left a lot of money that we need back. Have something sorted in a day, got it darling? I’ll be back.” Nigel’s words were rough, heavy. He almost spat them in Adam’s face, who’s eyebrows only knitted together, he didn’t say a word. 

Nigel looked into the boy’s eyes, they were soft but unreadable; before swiftly turning around, walking to the door and slamming it closed with a noise a little too loud behind him. He huffed, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets as he climbed down the stairs of the building. 

He needed a cigarette to think about this. 

Adam was left standing in the middle of his apartment, fast breaths catching up to him. Playing his hands felt like too little. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t understand. Overwhelmed. 

There was nothing he could do except retreat to his bedroom, sit in a ball, turning the galaxy lights on. 

He would have to tell Harlan about this.


	2. when i am nothing in your eyes

“I’ve told you for the fucking 6th time. He.  _ Doesn’t.  _ Know anything about it. I don’t know what you expect me to do.” Nigel spits down his burner phone, hand rubbing at his temple with stress as a half burnt cigarette lays still between his fingers.  He’d been on the phone for a good 5 minutes, far too long if you ask him. To be fair, it wasn’t like he was asking a tough question. He needed orders and his empolyers, were too stupid to understand the situation at hand. 

His employers. Those dumb motherfuckers. You get a kid who knows nothing about his pop’s debt. Obviously can’t pay, even if he wanted to. Response? ‘Make him’.  Nigel had his fair share of this, it wasn’t his first time in this rodeo. But he sure was getting tired of going through the same motions on the same ride. 

After coming back from near death, moving away from Romania, the country he’s been in pretty much all of his life, leaving his ex-wife behind, on the run from police, a man needs money. So he takes any job that will pay.  Nigel should’ve expected it to not go as smoothly as it always did back where he was from. 

A response was thrown back at him equally as fast, 

“Do what we’re paying you to do. Fucking hear me?”

A click, dead line tone. They hung up on him as soon as they felt like they got thieir final word in; bastards.  “Shit!” He cursed, slamming the phone shut and haphazardly back into his jean pocket. Nigel paced, light hair whipping through his light hair as he walked the street outside of his crummy apartment. A few people walked by, no one that was listening. It was the dead of night, or at least coming to be. He didn’t keep exact check of the time now, or what day it was. Lost the motivation to, he supposes. 

The man had a job to do, and people wanted it done. The man needs money to stay alive, so he’ll do it for them. This isn’t worth all the trouble, he decides, or hopes to. 

The quiet of the street reminds him, briefly, of how he ended up here. Long story, it’s kind of fuzzy when he thinks about the details.  Gabi, his lovely ex-wife. He had been so attached, her words not his, only for her to run away with another man. Charlie, a kid who knows nothing, knew nothing and gave up everything for a random woman. Everything had been going so well too, him and Gabi getting back to what he honestly considered a normal life. 

But what good will holding onto the past do now?  Not when all of the romanian police are searching for you and your ex-wife thinks you’re dead.  With a heavy sigh, Nigel pushed open the shitty door to his apartment and heard it slam on its hinges behind him. 

  
  


5 AM. 6AM. 7AM. Adam’s leg bounced with nervousness on his hard wood floor, fully dressed, sitting on the chair in the middle of his kitchen. It felt wrong to be standing, but he couldn’t focus to fully enjoy breakfast either. Usually, he would still be in bed at this time, sleeping for 9 hours like he did every night, something he got so used to. But instead, anxiety was nipping away at his soul for something he had never even heard of before. Debt.

He took some time to think of it, he really did. Of every memory he searched, his father never mentioned a single thing about any kind of debt to him. Only other ones popped up. Endless info dumping about stars and space. Learning how to be indepent and ask for things. The furneral. It might’ve been to stop him from worrying, but Adam wasn’t sure. He could never guess when it came to other people’s intentions. Now it messed with his sleep schedule, and he was suffering for it.

Adam had been awake since 5:06 AM precisely, checking his clock the instant he awoke from his sleep. It took a lot of restraint to stop him from calling Harlan, but he remembered people didn’t usually wake at this time on a Saturday, and it would be rude to wake him.

So he waited, and he waited for 3 hours, until he couldn’t wait any longer. He didn’t like phone calls, so he went straight to Harlan’s house. It was what he usually did, with any kind of trouble or concern. He wondered if he wouldn’t mind it was ‘guy talk’, as the older man always called it.

x

“So he just showed up there? Nothing about who sent him?” Harlan asked, brows knitted in what could only be a sympathetic expression.

Adam nodded, feet tracing the ground in circles as he adjusted himself on a chair. Harlan, luckily, had been very understanding about Adam knocking on his door at 7AM. Although he was still in pajamas. 

“I was close with your father - you know that. He never told me anything about no debt. If this guy was telling the truth, he kept this secret well hidden.”

Adam knows that. That’s what makes it more confusing. His dad lied to him, kept this out of his life and now it’s back to trouble him, his dad’s gone and no one else can help now. How much even was there to pay? Adam couldn’t even recount the man telling him. Did he just expect him to know that? All he knew is that it’s probably way more than he could pay.

“I know. He said he was coming around again today. I could tell him the truth, explain and ask how much he wants. If he really wants the money, maybe I don’t have to pay  _ that  _ much back.” He suggested, standing from his chair and looking at Harlan’s neck. In a situation where he felt as crammed in as this, close to eye-contact was kind of out of the question.

The older man sighed, rubbing his temple, dragging his hand across his face. 

“You can try, but Adam, with assholes like this you gotta be careful. They can get...violent, sometimes. If  _ anything  _ happens, anything at all, ring me on speed dial. I’ll be right over.”

Adam hastily nods. There was a plan now, he could talk with Nigel and if that didn’t go well, Harlan could get involved. He wasn’t completely alone here, he reminded himself, and there was no need to get violent so he doubted that would happen. A calm conversation - sorting out the details. That’s the plan. Adam let out a breath that felt like it was straining his chest for a while. 

x

The slight draft outside of his apartment doorway closed off when Adam shut his door. His eyes screwed shut, and his back slid down the wood door. Plan. Plan, think about the plan. But he couldn’t.  Nigel didn’t say what time he was coming over. Was he going to be alone? Calmer? More pissed off for no reason? So many things that had no answer, he was so uncertain.  But his breath didn’t quicken, and he kept his emotions in check. Harlan was supporting him, and he could’ve been overthinking. Just remember how to keep calm.

The boy’s legs sprung him away from the floor, walking over to his books on the shelf. They were still not moved in any way. The books on his condition - it was a lie if he said they never came in helpful. For just writing, it made people realise and treat him differently. In a good or bad way. 

He made a mental note, if Nigel had started to get too confused or mixed up, he could point to them. And make a quick speech of his own, that he vaugely remembers rehearsing in the mirror over 10 times a long while ago. His fingers grasped around the bridge of the books and moved them to his table, in more view when you entered the apartment. Easier for them both to see. 

Now was the slightly more difficult part- waiting, sitting in his own uncertainty. But Adam didn’t have any plans for today, not anything so important. So he could wait for him, for Nigel.

x

Nigel had waited for a while; and it’s not like he didn’t have to. Busy man, busy plans, a lot to do in every day. Nothing essential of course, even if he didn’t like to tell himself that, but it was stuff to waste time on as well as keep Adam Raki on his toes. That’s what he would’ve said to himself in a normal situation, but something pulled at the little pieces of his heart.

In a way - this felt uncessecary. Something bugged him to just get this over and done with, not to play psychological pass the ball with the kid any longer. He supposed that was fair, and his bones were really aching for movement at this point. 

With a strained sigh, Nigel pushed himself away from a building’s wall and flicked his lighter open, lighting a cigarette dangling in his mouth.  His feet hit the ground in a steady but fast rhythm, the sky reminded him it was around mid-day. Better now than midnight - and not only for the kid’s sake.

More than a lot of things, Nigel wanted to get these assholes off of his back. This was surely the last job he was taking from them, money be damned. He would find it elsewhere. 

x

_ Knock, knock, knock.  _ Nigel’s hand, in a fist, banged on the door. His head turned, waiting to hear footsteps and the door swinging open. Nothing. He held back a sigh, holding the bridge of his nose. He better be in there.

_ Knock, knock, knock, knock. _ Louder - by a bit. 

He heard shuffling, then a pause. Adam was inside, he had a feeling in the first place; now he had to wait for him to unlock the door.

Adam, on the other side of the wood, held his back firm aganist it. He knew what he  _ had  _ to do, but nervousness still chipped away at his resolve.  But he knew this wouldn’t go away if he hid behind the door. Harlan was behind him on this, supporting him. So all he had to do was face it.

He turned the lock, the door clicking, and stood back when he pulled it open. The same man greeted him as yesterday, slightly taller, type of blonde hair, same dark shirt with a jacket and jeans. At least he was still alone. Done deal. 

“Hello. Would you like to come in?” Adam’s voice greeted the man, tone still but soft. Nigel showed a toothy grin.

“Of course, darling.”

Adam's brow twitched. There it was, that little nickname, it peeved him. If he had learned anything about this stranger, he knew simply in expressing his dislike most likely wouldn't change a thing about his behaviour. Adam bit back his grievances, for now.  He moved his body aside for Nigel to step in the apartment, shutting the door behind the man. 

Nigel made himself, and his presence, comfortable. He didn’t sit, instead hovering around the main area and objects; like he was so curious. When Adam didn’t say anything, Nigel cocked his head for a start.

“So? The money?” he looked at the boy, who stayed close to the wall near the door.

“What about it?” an innocent question, asking the man to be more specific. He didn’t know it probably didn’t 100 percent come across that way.

“I think you know what I mean,” Nigel spoke, with sarcasm evident and a wry smile. “I gave you about a day. A whole  _ twenty-four _ hours to get what I want from you. So?” He put emphasis on certain words, like it was so  _ obvious  _ what he was asking. 

Adam turned his head, mouth parted and looking anywhere but Nigel’s eyes.  “Well, I already told you I couldn’t. My dad told me nothing, at all, about this, but I spoke to my friend about it and-”

Nigel’s jaw had tightened from the moment the kid started speaking. He left from his position, getting closer to Adam quickly. He shifted his weight, looking him right in the eyes.

“That isn’t an option, darling. I  _ meant  _ what I said last time. I don’t give a shit who told you what, there is money that is missing. Guess who that falls on?” A rhetorical question, one that Adam didn’t quite catch. 

He parted his mouth for a response, but Nigel answered it for him before he could even get a breath in. “You.” He points a finger to Adam’s chest, poking him roughly. 

Adam’s face fell, shoving his feet backwards. Strangers touching him was a definite no-go, he could feel his breath starting to pick up and a knot in his stomach tie with thick rope. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do!” His voice picked up, a little louder than intended. “I don’t have enough money, not yet. I only work one job and this wasn’t even my debt anyway!” His pace was becoming panicked, long thoughts scrambled into quick complaints. He picked and pulled at his fingers, playing with them although they were a stress toy. 

Nigel threw his hands up, not touching Adam but still close. His eyebrows grew rasied. 

“First of all, simple problem to a simple solution,” He didn’t have the energy, not today. He thought Adam would’ve had  _ something, anything  _ sorted out. But nothing, and the deadline for the money wasn’t so far ahead. He needed this taken care of soon, and an upset daddys boy was the last thing he wanted to explain the schematics of _ ‘debt 101 for dummies’ to _ . 

“You find a way. In case I haven’t made it clear, contact the police and you’re fucked. This is a no questions scenario, reality even when you don’t want to fucking clock in.” 

Adam took a breath, in then out, in then out. Nothing Nigel was saying made any sense. This wasn’t clear, he didn’t understand! He wanted Harlan. Itching at his scalp through his hair, the boy pushed past Nigel, brushing a shoulder aganist him. His fingers fiddled with his back pocket, pulling his phone out. If he could get Harlan here, then it would be okay. He could help him calm down. 

He was half through dialing the number until a figure appeared in front of him, snatching the phone out of his hands with an angry expression.

“What did I just fucking say? No police, right darling? Don’t make me turn this into something it doesn’t need to be.” His voice was low, like a warning, but pshyically backing Adam into a corner, until his back almost hit the wall. Adam’s breath hitched, he didn’t even look at the phone. He wasn’t calling the police. He muttered, but couldn’t get a full sentence out.

This was too much, it was too much, he felt like he couldn’t move or breathe and someone just took his phone away, and this wasn’t going to plan and no one was listening to him.  He couldn’t function anymore. 

“No, no, no..-” He stuttered, breathing becoming more uneven by the minute. He wasn’t even sure where he was going, it’s like there was too many colors and too many thoughts. 

A confused Nigel followed Adam step by step as he walked to the side. What was he mumbling about? He stopped with one foot in front of the other, bumping into a coffee table. Hm?  He looked down, seeing a book hanging over the edge.

_ ‘Autism in adults, a guide to understanding’.  _

What? Autism, like aspergers syndrome? What in the fresh hell was this doing on his coffee table in the open? His attention was brought away from the book when he heard a clash.

Adam hit himself in the chest, once, then twice, then so fast it was probably over several times. His eyes were glazed with tears, jerkily shaking his head.  “No, no, get out. Get away from me get out of my house.” His words were quick and messy, like a panicked mantra he kept repeating. His fists went from hitting his chest to rapidly jerking them around against each other. 

“Adam.” Nigel’s voice came, stepping closer to him. Was he having some kind of attack?  “Stop it, calm down.” He didn’t want to be held accountable for any of this, but at the same time, he didn’t want to leave him by himself to deal with this, even if maybe he  _ had  _ caused it. 

“No, no!” He spoke, loudly in warning. His hands went from his chest to his head, hitting himself and grabbing, pulling his hair. He slid his body from standing to leaning on the floor, hyperventilating still. 

“You need to calm down!-” Nigel winced, suppressing a heavy sigh. He leaned to the floor, contemplating how to help him. He just kept hitting himself. His thoughts came back to the book, the one on his coffee table. Was that…?

Nigel caught a fist when Adam came to smack himself again, any more and Nigel feared he would seriously hurt himself.

His skin was rough compared to the younger man’s more softer skin, bare because of a short sleeved shirt he’d been wearing.  Adam’s head jerked up to Nigel’s, teary eyes looking into his more aged ones. His breathing remained heavy but his movements slowed. Nigel’s eyes didn’t meet his.

For once, Nigel wasn’t staring at Adam, but the constellation that embedded itself onto his wrist, like a tattoo, like a mark.

The same one Nigel has had on his chest for so many years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading!! ill update sooner this time. i hope my character of Adam is written well, as an autistic man myself I found it easy to write a meltdown, but a little harder not to totally project onto him. Also, nigel is an enigma as usual. God knows what's going on in his head.


End file.
